(Source: durianseeds, via runnernotalover)

@1 week ago with 21239 notes
@1 week ago with 70862 notes

Anonymous said: Is this the Krusty Krab?

More like the cum, er, Chum Bucket.

@7 months ago

Anonymous said: The Queen of the Damned believes you are a solid 666 out of 666. Are you satisfied with this knowledge?

Only if she wants to 69.

@7 months ago

Anonymous said: If someone is unprepared for adult pizza and tries a slice of it, what happens to her or him?

Heaven. Wet, wet heaven.

@7 months ago

#roofbreakup

kyleayers:

A couple ran onto my roof and starting breaking up, right in front of a bunch of people who were just up there hanging out. I live tweeted the breakup.

(Source: kyleayers)

@10 months ago with 1933 notes

“this leaves men confused and unable to pigeonhole you. What they are forced to do instead is… take you seriously.”

(Source: un-usuall-m3mory-x3, via bmoody1)

@11 months ago with 1626423 notes

kirtens:

when i was younger i was in mcdonalds and i had my tamagotchi with me and i was playing with it and there was another girl about my age with a tamagotchi too and we kept looking over to eachother and after a while she went to the bathroom and i followed a few minutes after and she had been waiting for me and we connected our tamagotchis and we made them have tamababies and it was the most scandalous thing i have ever done in my life to this day

(via chemicallly--calm)

@11 months ago with 292989 notes

sean-codyvevo:

Just because I’m gay…

FINALLY SOMEONE DISMISSES THESE AWFUL GAY STEREOTYPES

(Source: tooyoungtoonmb, via runnernotalover)

@1 week ago with 224290 notes

Anonymous said: bloop

bleep

@7 months ago

Anonymous said: When are you going on your next archaeological dig?

Um, is this is weird way of asking when I’m going masturbate next?

@7 months ago

Anonymous said: Satan's blood runs cold whenever he hears mention of your name. Why is that?

Because my name is just so kewl.

@7 months ago

drunkonstephen:

Jon Stewart sings “I want to suck your dick for Christmas”.
Full video here.

@9 months ago with 630 notes
@10 months ago with 288741 notes

(via bmoody1)

@11 months ago with 59417 notes