Anonymous said: Is this the Krusty Krab?
More like the cum, er, Chum Bucket.@7 months ago
Anonymous said: The Queen of the Damned believes you are a solid 666 out of 666. Are you satisfied with this knowledge?
Only if she wants to 69.@7 months ago
Anonymous said: If someone is unprepared for adult pizza and tries a slice of it, what happens to her or him?
Heaven. Wet, wet heaven.@7 months ago
A couple ran onto my roof and starting breaking up, right in front of a bunch of people who were just up there hanging out. I live tweeted the breakup.
(Source: kyleayers)@10 months ago with 1933 notes
when i was younger i was in mcdonalds and i had my tamagotchi with me and i was playing with it and there was another girl about my age with a tamagotchi too and we kept looking over to eachother and after a while she went to the bathroom and i followed a few minutes after and she had been waiting for me and we connected our tamagotchis and we made them have tamababies and it was the most scandalous thing i have ever done in my life to this day
(via chemicallly--calm)@11 months ago with 292989 notes
Anonymous said: bloop
bleep@7 months ago
Anonymous said: When are you going on your next archaeological dig?
Um, is this is weird way of asking when I’m going masturbate next?@7 months ago
Anonymous said: Satan's blood runs cold whenever he hears mention of your name. Why is that?
Because my name is just so kewl.@7 months ago